Oct 22, 2008

Letting Go

I have had many great friendships in my life thus far and as I have begun to look back on them I realize that a great friendship is like a great love affair. Like a great love affair you happen upon this person and the sparks fly you love love love them and you cant spend enough time together, you tell each other everything make plans for the future and think that it will be like this forever. And as time passes in both a great friendship and a love affair things change, you talk a little less quarrel a little more but still you're sure that you love them and they love you so in the end what else really matters.
But in a great love affair when things fall apart or when someone has broken the other beyond repair there is a clear place to end things, there is a line that when crossed the two part ways and the love becomes a story of their past. And indeed there are a few lines in friendship that work the same way, but they tend to be blurry and often ignored for the sake of saving a great friendship. But why...
I know that the reasons are many, big and small and are as varied as the friends themselves but when is it time to let go? Is it time to let go when we realize that we are better friends to them than they are to us? When a person becomes someone that you don't feel that you know anymore, is it then? Why is it that it is so hard to know when to let go, and when you do know how do you do it? Do you end it like your love affair?
They say that friends come into your life for a reason and some stay a moment some a season and some for a life time, but how do you know which is which? How do you know who to fight for and who to let go?
In the story of my life I have a friend, from this day forth this friend will be known as Quicksilver ( or unpredictable).
Quicksilver is a friend that I thought would be one of my forever friends, we were best friends and I thought that it would be that way forever but now I don't know more and more I feel like our relationship is one sided I do all the giving and she does all the taking and I just don't know that I have it in me to stay on this ride anymore.
Quicksilver used to be the girl that everyone loved, we hung out all the time from shutting down bars to watching movies. She was the life of the party and always the one you could count on if you needed a shoulder, but now she is the person that everyone asks if you have heard from, she doesn't answer phone calls or emails. She never wants to hang out and when she does she isn't really there. And it has all happened so fast I have had friendships that have tapered off in the past that eventually come to an end but this felt like it came out of nowhere one day she was my best friend and the next I barely know who she is, and I'm sad about it but I cant keep putting myself out there. And I'm so confused.
So that's the story so far...


  1. Shorty said...
    I would recommend asking her straight up what's wrong...is there something she feels she can't talk to you about. Reiterate what a great friend you consider her to be and let her know you're there for her. Maybe she's struggling with depression or something she feels she can't talk about. Sometimes just reminding a friend that you want their company and that you miss them is enough to pull them out of their shell enough to realize that relationships take more than one person committed to make it work.

    Best wishes to you my friend!
    Anonymous said...
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    Ellabee said...
    I just went through this (am going through this) with a good friend. It's rough. I admit, I'm not an optimist when it comes to relationships or friendships. I don't buy into "happily ever after", and I don't think it applies to friendships either. Relationships are rough. They take work. It's supposed to be worth it, but only if both people are willing to work for it! And let's face it, we're all LAZY people!!!

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