Purge

So this is life... this is a question I often ask myself. Always knowing that the answer will be yes but all the same still asking over and over, hoping one day the answer will be different, hoping this time the answer will be no... this isn't life this is a dream and when you wake up all the wrong things that you have done and all the mistakes that you have made will no longer chase you in your dreams, because how could they this has all been a dream a wild crazy dream.
And so I will continue to ask myself the question, each time bracing myself for the answer, deep down hoping that it will be different this time. And in the time in between then and now I will purge my mind, my heart my soul. My past and my present. I will purge my thoughts, lay them here bare and raw and hope that freeing them will keep me from drowning from inside. I hope that letting them go keeps them from swirling around in my head although, part of me worries that letting them go will cause the noise in my head to stop and I will no longer be able to drown out the sound of myself screaming.
I guess I wont know until its all said and done.
So here I am and this is my purge....