Purge

So for those of you still following along at home, I found out during my hiatus that Quicksilver is pregnant. I don't know how far a long or anything like that since it wasn't even her that I heard the news from. As always my first instinct was to call her and see how things were going hoping that she would tell me she was sorry for the way things had been but she had huge news and was excited to share it with me, but I decided against it. I think this time I will wait for her, if she wants she can call me, I am so over being the one that works at this.
I am a little sad though, I always thought that when we got to the part in our lives that we were ready (as ready as you can be) for such things, that it would be something that we shared with each other. Doing all the fun and exciting things that women do with each other when one of them is expecting. I guess that isn't going to be our reality.
Such is life.


Lots of Love
*Oleander*

Well thanks for asking,

Since last I wrote a lot has happened, but I don't want to spend all my time talking about the past so I will give you the short list. Be sure that details will come as they are needed.
So with out further ado here they are...

The Top 10 things that happened while I was gone. (and as always in no particular order)

1. I found out that Quicksilver is pregnant
2. I made new friends
3. Lots of famous people died (although that's not really about me)
4. I acquired a new out look
5. I started dreaming about someone new
6. I let go of the Grinch (for good this time I think)
7. I finally got to quit my old job and start a new one
8. I lost some weight
9. I remembered the old me... the good and the bad
10. I freakin missed this place like crazy



Lots of Love
*Oleander*

So for those of you who are following along at home you know that I have a or maybe I should say had a best friend that is now know as Quicksilver. Well after thinking it over and even after I had decided that I was no longer going to be in a one sided friendship with this person I called them anyway, I don't know why I guess that I am a romantic at heart and I think that friendships are some of the great loves of your life or maybe its just that I am a glutton for punishment and I wanted to feel crappy since I had been in such a good mood lately, anyway I called and true to form Quicksilver let me down. We used to be able to talk for hours about anything, and nothing at all and this time it seemed as if we had nothing to say to each other. I asked how things were and I got the short answer. I felt so I out touch. And that makes me sad because there isn't a real reason as to why we aren't what we used to be, there was no fight or rumor or anything just one day she was gone... here but gone. So, back to the call.. I call when I know I shouldn't but I do because that's who I am and we talk after weeks of not talking, about nothing really and for not very long she never asked about me or my life and seemed to have very little interest in the lives of our other friends, who by the way have all written her off and why cant I ... why cant I do the same? Why do I have this need to fix everything that's broken? Well today I tell myself no more and we will see how that goes but as of right now I am done, done,done,done.

I have had many great friendships in my life thus far and as I have begun to look back on them I realize that a great friendship is like a great love affair. Like a great love affair you happen upon this person and the sparks fly you love love love them and you cant spend enough time together, you tell each other everything make plans for the future and think that it will be like this forever. And as time passes in both a great friendship and a love affair things change, you talk a little less quarrel a little more but still you're sure that you love them and they love you so in the end what else really matters.
But in a great love affair when things fall apart or when someone has broken the other beyond repair there is a clear place to end things, there is a line that when crossed the two part ways and the love becomes a story of their past. And indeed there are a few lines in friendship that work the same way, but they tend to be blurry and often ignored for the sake of saving a great friendship. But why...
I know that the reasons are many, big and small and are as varied as the friends themselves but when is it time to let go? Is it time to let go when we realize that we are better friends to them than they are to us? When a person becomes someone that you don't feel that you know anymore, is it then? Why is it that it is so hard to know when to let go, and when you do know how do you do it? Do you end it like your love affair?
They say that friends come into your life for a reason and some stay a moment some a season and some for a life time, but how do you know which is which? How do you know who to fight for and who to let go?
In the story of my life I have a friend, from this day forth this friend will be known as Quicksilver ( or unpredictable).
Quicksilver is a friend that I thought would be one of my forever friends, we were best friends and I thought that it would be that way forever but now I don't know more and more I feel like our relationship is one sided I do all the giving and she does all the taking and I just don't know that I have it in me to stay on this ride anymore.
Quicksilver used to be the girl that everyone loved, we hung out all the time from shutting down bars to watching movies. She was the life of the party and always the one you could count on if you needed a shoulder, but now she is the person that everyone asks if you have heard from, she doesn't answer phone calls or emails. She never wants to hang out and when she does she isn't really there. And it has all happened so fast I have had friendships that have tapered off in the past that eventually come to an end but this felt like it came out of nowhere one day she was my best friend and the next I barely know who she is, and I'm sad about it but I cant keep putting myself out there. And I'm so confused.
So that's the story so far...

How do you know when its time to let a friendship go?

*To be continued...